knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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