can u get pink eye on your cock?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
