Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
