Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
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Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
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I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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