im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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