i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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