I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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