I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
