So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize