Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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