I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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