put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
