It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
