it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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