If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
