I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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