I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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