The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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