i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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