Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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