I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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