every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
