wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
