One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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