Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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