i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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