Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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