Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
