5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
