He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Randomize
