Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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