I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
