ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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