Joe is yelling at the trees again.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
