Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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