just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
