Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize