Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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