Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
