the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
