naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
