What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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