god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
