when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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