apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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