What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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