IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
