is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
