I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize