I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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