Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
