He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
