Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
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