Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
