you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
