I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
