His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
