D3 body, D1 cock
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
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Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize