i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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