Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
