we're chasing vodka with high fives
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
