sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..