Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.

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(508): she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her. http://tfl.nu/2xab

Replies (50) Good night (818) Bad night (3488)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

so you masturbated because Oprah told you?

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(603): so you masturbated because Oprah told you? http://tfl.nu/qr8j

Replies (11) Good night (3382) Bad night (1165)
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(660): View more from Missouri

I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.

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(660): I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush. http://tfl.nu/ahlc

Replies (16) Good night (4306) Bad night (833)
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(303): View more from Colorado

You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.

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(303): You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you. http://tfl.nu/1hxd

Replies (22) Good night (4795) Bad night (958)
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(980): View more from North Carolina

I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks

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(980): I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks http://tfl.nu/h8ue

Replies (29) Good night (896) Bad night (4897)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know

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(501): She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know http://tfl.nu/vx6i

Replies (15) Good night (3423) Bad night (638)
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(940): View more from Texas

never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down

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(940): never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down http://tfl.nu/bj4x

Replies (48) Good night (5203) Bad night (1020)
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(352): View more from Florida

She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.

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(352): She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game. http://tfl.nu/e2np

Replies (7) Good night (3105) Bad night (582)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.

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(404): I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training. http://tfl.nu/j8m4

Replies (2) Good night (2280) Bad night (779)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.

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(204): at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess. http://tfl.nu/unws

Replies (6) Good night (2257) Bad night (1097)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.

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(503): Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands. http://tfl.nu/rsji

Replies (12) Good night (2516) Bad night (632)
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(907): View more from Alaska

I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.

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(907): I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue. http://tfl.nu/inzh

Replies (3) Good night (884) Bad night (472)
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(443): View more from Maryland

i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream

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(443): i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream http://tfl.nu/zdot

Replies (9) Good night (528) Bad night (1408)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.

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(501): My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone. http://tfl.nu/7x1i

Replies (6) Good night (1671) Bad night (425)
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(956): View more from Texas

Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.

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(956): Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair. http://tfl.nu/7p18

Replies (1) Good night (509) Bad night (292)

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