I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink