Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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