Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize